There is a spider living inside of my truck. I’ve never seen her but her silken handiwork gives her away. So far, i’ve only found strands in front of the steering wheel going from somewhere to somewhere else. Have never seen any dead or paralyzed insect meals awaiting their fate. Although there was a rather frenetic mosquito trying to exit through the window next to my ear the other day. I can go days without leaving the house so i’m not sure how long it had been trapped inside the cab. Since i can’t stand mosquitoes, i smashed it against the unyielding window probably denying my arachnid passenger the chance of a meal. Tough titties or tough spinnerets, whatever.
After i bought the truck i was [delusionally] trying to protect the seats from the inevitable dog mess. You know – horse shit, deer shit and all the other shit that dogs routinely roll in and unfortunately, often eat. To that end, i covered my cloth seats with a thin fleece blanket that also happened to match the inside. I failed to foresee that as Blue moved across the blanket from me to her side, she was generating a static charge. A few shocks later and now she won’t just lay down as we travel to the farm for her walks; she INSISTS on trying to squeeze her 45 pounds onto my lap as i’m trying to drive. Because i’m easy, i have learned to accommodate her neediness. OK, i caved. Since she’s anxious anyway, any deviation on my part from the road onto the goddamned rumble strips sends her leaping up in dismay. It’s bad enough to know other drivers are judging me for my lack of concentration but i don’t appreciate the dog adding her 2 cents.
The other problem with having her mostly on my lap is that when i need to make a turn, i have to suck in my belly fat to make room to move the wheel. Way to body shame, Blue.
One very annoying ‘feature’ that comes included is that the tail gate locks when you lock up the truck, but it doesn’t unlock when i unlock the door UNLESS i double click the unlock button on the remote. Some nonsense about helping to prevent tail gate theft. All i know is that when i get to the dump with my trash, i want the motherfucking tail gate to open. So, i either have to shut off the truck, remove the key and double click the remote or remember to bring the second remote along for the ride. Pisses me off.
A poor design somehow led Ford to put the panic/alarm button right next to the lock button on the remote. Can’t remember how many times i’ve set it off by accident [and my big thumbs].
I’m getting used to the auto start and stop feature on the truck. Luckily it’s function can be disabled for city driving. Since i am country driving, i can see that it does help to conserve fuel when sitting at traffic lights but it’s taken months for Blue to adjust to it without her leaping up from my lap every time the engine restarts.
I also stubbornly admit that i have grown to enjoy the automatic transmission even though i still occasionally reach for the stick. The power windows are also nice as long as i don’t strangle Blue putting them up.
Overall, i’m glad i bought the new truck and i’m very glad i didn’t end up being filmed by Live PD for reckless driving or reckless endangerment or reckless one-thing-or-another because i drive with a dog wedged between my gut and the wheel. I don’t think the excuse of ‘my dog made me do it’ is gonna fly with a county sheriff.