Last words

I was sitting and thinking about the last words my mom said to me. “Go away”, as I tried to reposition her frame in the prison of her bed. I loved it. Finally, she found her voice and said what she meant. My mom had always been the stoic one, the one who kept going no matter what, the one who made me wonder “really? – is that what you’re thinking?”

Yesterday, in therapy, I told D about some of the dreams I’ve been having. Again, vivid and a bit odd, but not scary. He then asks me if I had had “any mom dreams?” “No.” Of course, I started worrying that I would (should?) start having some. So far though, no dreams. What”s scary is…he planted that in my head under cover of a reasonable question. I swear I may strangle D if I start to dream (just kidding – maybe).



One response to “Last words

  1. Ugh, dreams. Sometimes if I don’t get what I want during the day, I get it in a dream, and then wake up and it’s like being doubly disappointed, because my dreams are so vivid.

    People I know and love who’ve died always vividly visit my dreams, sometimes for years. If you dream about your mom, that’s fine, and also, I think, fine if you don’t.

    I also have a lot of really exciting nightmares about zombies ever since watching “The Walking Dead.” Plus this recurring nightmare about being on a college campus and not being able to find my classroom or realizing halfway through the semester that I’ve forgotten to go to class… Half the time when I wake up, I’m already exhausted. If there was a drug that stopped you from dreaming, I would want it. Unfortunately most drugs seem to have the opposite effect on me.

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