Things are shitty

Saw my new’ish therapist Saturday.  Admitted that I had spent most of the week racing between utter despair and bad thoughts to “what is my problem?”  I did break down and called my shrink on Wednesday, but he never called back. So, I ended up cutting again and eventually took a modest overdose of Vicodin and Xanax. Certainly passed the horrible hours more easily(read unconscious).  My therapist wanted to know why I didn’t call him.

Today, much more rapid mood swings.  One minute I can see something positive and the next second I can only think about how bad I feel and why is this happening and what can I to do to make it stop, what am I willing to do.

Therapist said if the shrink had called back he would have probably wanted to admit me, so If I still feel like this tomorrow I MAY call the therapist.

To get through today, it’s pot, Xanax, and red wine.  WTF is going on?    Doc.

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