Random crap

Evening.

Saw the ortho. guy yesterday, got the sutures out, go back in three weeks.  Finally read the OR report:  the median nerve was adherent to the undersurface of the radial border of the transverse carpal ligament (the ligament that is transected to open the carpal tunnel during carpal tunnel release) and showed generalized perineural fibrosis with a minimal area of narrowing.    So, hopefully now the damned thing will be happy and start to work again.  Although, sometimes i wonder why i’m bothering.

I’ve already fucked up my new meds.  Was supposed to get a starter pack of Viibryd from Dr. S’nG but i sprinted out of there too quickly and frankly it was the last thing on my mind.  Was supposed to start at 10mg/day for 7 days then increase to 20 mg/day for 7 days ’til we meet again in 6 weeks.  When i filled the Rx. it’s for 20mg so i cut one in half, took it around 4pm (but without food, it’s supposed to be) and took another half after dinner when i took the risperidone (taken twice a day.)   Don’t expect any problems, just goes to show me i’m not really paying attention.

My insurance co. approved the Viibryd:  retail price $167.00 for 30 tabs., i pay $50.oo co-pay, but what really blew my ass off was the risperidone:  $307.00 for 60 tabs. retail, thank fuck only a $13.47 copay.

I’ve noticed a shift in my food cravings.  Less soft-boiled eggs and robins eggs, more Chunky Monkey ice cream and peanuts in the shell, unsalted.  As a very fond follower of Dotty Headbanger, i considered trying to find a sausage to call my own, but as a confirmed non-mammalivore (yes, it’s a real word even if i did make it up – look it up), i believe this search will end in heartbreak.  I continue to eat poultry and fish, yes and eggs and milk, but i recently had a very in-depth discussion with my brother about his job and i should seriously find a way to stop eating birds.  He works in a chicken packing plant.  They kill about 300 birds a minute all day, 6 days a week.  The “process” is mechanized and highly structured for efficiency but in the end, consists of poor, frightened animals hung up by the feet, sprayed with water, stunned electrically, and decapitated etc. while moving along a conveyor belt.  He said the only part of the chickens they don’t use is the screams (OK, he said clucks).  Maybe they could find a way to harness the energy in their “vocalizations” like Monsters, Inc.  Probably the same for turkeys, only louder.

I’ve started rolling my own cigarettes.  I resumed smoking in November 2011 after a 22 year break and now Marlboro 100s are @ $70.00 a carton (10 packs of 20).  I can roll a carton of my own for around $15.00.  I bought this clever little rolling device (cheap) and it’s something to do when i’m bored.

I’ve got 7 or 8 episodes of Merlin and Being Human DVR’d that i have to find a way of just watching.  I love both shows but for some reason cannot make myself watch right now.  Weird.

Also asked the neighbor and his son to hook up an X-box 360 that i bought 6 years ago (still in the box), and now can’t be arsed to play because i can’t figure out how to get Remy to jump on the water pump handle to get a prize.  Maybe when my head is quieter.

I’m going for a smoke.  Doc.

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Catching up.

Hello,  i’m fucked up again (pot) and have been for several weeks now.   I’m going to try and remember what has happened lately.  Let’s see.

     In the end, i trapped and condemned to death 4 feral cats.  Two males and two pregnant females.  The kitten from last year was spared (don’t know why) and i believe has just recently kindled (delivered).  It should be several weeks before i catch a climpse of it (them).

     Left my therapist.  For good.

     Saw the ortho. specialist.  Decision (of course), was to re-operate and explore the median nerve and FIX it.  I asked my local quack (ortho. guy) to do it, but he deferred to the hand guy.  “You’ll probably have a better outcome if he does it”.  OK by me.

     Scheduled the surgery, and 1 week before was struck down with acute pyelonephritis (kidney infection).   Seriously, the pain was SERIOUS.  Had some vicodin so i took them, smoked some pot but nada.  So, 1030pm, i drove to the ER and had lab work, IV fluids and meds. and a CT of the abdomen. All relatively normal. And, by 530 am was bid farwell with Valium and Percocet Rx’s and wished well. Diagnosis:  abdominal and back pain, unknown etiology. 

     Five days later, still no better, but having appreciated the drugs, i made a “same day” appt. with the internal med. office and wound up back in the ER for more labwork, IV’s and another CT.  Found the urinary tract infection this time.  Got IV antibiotic (Cipro) and IV Dilaudid (narcotic).  Seriously (i like this word today) FUCKED UP for a while. About 930pm i remember being discharged and allowed to DRIVE MYSELF home.  All i remember of the trip home is stopping at the nearest Giant food store and buying a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream.  I also remember eating some of it.

     Well, with my hand surgery scheduled 2 days later, i checked to see if we should delay it.  “Yes”.  SHIT.  More delay. 

     Finally had the surgery 11 days ago.  Seems to have gone well.  I did not speak to the ortho. guy after the procedure, which pisses me off as i have no idea what he found. Just plain RUDE.  Even more so since i’m doing the the post-op follow up with my guy.  And i TOLD handguy this.  Let it go.   

    I will say that i am glad i was able to use my post-op narcotics (Percocet AND Vicodin, score!) in a “relatively” reasonable fashion as i already have fond feelings for cannabis, caffeine, and nicotine. I will add the leftovers to my growing stash of all drugs imaginable.

      The most surprising (and most objectionable) thing i’ve done lately is make a “today, if possible”  appt. with my shrink. I have been troubled ,of late, by my stalker, my Wolf.  He whispers to me on occasion and makes demands, and puts ideas (demands) and pictures in my head.  Ah, now you see the reason for the increased pot use.  Actually, this is really good pot. Skunk from California.  Two hits….mmmmm.  When i’m toasted he tends to be quiet(er). 

     Well, he couldn’t see me the day i called and his next appt. opening was 5/31/12 (“that’s too far away”) so i was put on the cancellation list and they called the next day at 9am with an appt. later at 145pm.  So kind. Really.  So, i went and i told him stuff and he said “Well, it’s obvious you’re depressed and i’m concerned you may be psychotic.”   We chatted amicably  – me:  “No fucking way” and him: “I have to mention the hospital.  We need to keep you safe”.  In the end reason prevailed and i left (was allowed to leave) clutching two new Rx’s.  Risperidone (had this before) and Viibryd.(this is new). 

     I’ve looked up the Viibryd a little so far.  Seems to be an SSRI although the shrink said it was an SNRI.  I need to give my shrink a name for this blog, so i’ve decided to call him Dr. Sniffles and Grumbles (S and G)  BECAUSE he is always sniffling like he has allergies (but he denies this when questioned) and he must always be hungry as i have nearly always had to talk or listen over his growling stomach.  Anyway, if anyone is using or has used this AD i would always appreciate hearing about it.  I haven’t started it as it has to be pre-approved by my insurance co.  Must be wickedly expensive. 

     Re:  my hand – my fingers are still numb BUT slightly buzzing – which is good, the incisions are healing – they took fat from my upper arm to wrap around the nerve as insulation and protection and i’ll have the sutures out on Friday and get to read to OR report so i can find out what the hand guy found out.  Really, really rude..

     That’s all i have the energy for.  Doc.